Hey! What Happened to January?

On New Years Eve I had a quiet word to myself about the things I wanted to change in 2009. One of the things I promised myself was that I would update Maddie's blog more regularly. Even though it often feels like the things I write about are insignificant or unimportant, when I take the time to read old entries it reminds me of exactly how I felt, but more importantly it is a great record for Mads. One day, I hope that she will enjoy reading her mothers mad ramblings and learning about the first few years of her life.

Anyway, here I am at 10:30pm on Jan 27th and this is the first chance I have had to sit down and throw a few thoughts together. I never have been very good at keeping my news years resolutions!

So.... Christmas... The magic was officially back! Maddie was quite simply beside herself with excitement about the whole affair. From visiting all her much loved relatives, to understanding the concept of Father Christmas to singing 'Happy Birthday' to Jesus around the lunch table at the Smyth family residence - Louisa St! Trying to convince a 2 year old that Christmas is about giving as well as receiving was a bit of a challenge, but I'm sure she will get the gist as she gets a bit older.

Our visit to Adelaide was a whirlwind of love, cuddles, food, drinks, celebrations, tears and wonderful times. We treasured every minute spending time with our loved ones and as usual, it broke my heart to say goodbye.

New Year was spent with a fabulous group of friends up on the Central Coast. 1 giant house, 10 adults, 8 kids, a week of relaxing by the pool, playing tennis, cooking for each other, going to the beach, drinking lovely wine and generally chilling out was just what the doctor ordered. Maddie had an absolute blast hanging out with all the other kids and she is starting to gain a bit more confidence in the pool / ocean which is a big breakthrough.

We had a wonderful catch up with Howie and Barney when we got back to Sydney in the New Year. They both looked fabulous and were full of the joys of life. They were quite taken with Sydney and were even talking about heading home. The way they talked about London (freezing winter, credit crunch, doom and gloom) made me realise that perhaps I have been romanticising my view of the dark old girl and for the first time I thought "maybe it's time to get over ourselves, stop missing London and make the most of living in the GORGEOUS city of Sydney". Barney's parents had us over to their house at Clontarf and as I sat on their gorgeous balcony overlooking the Spit Bridge I was reminded of just how spectacular Sydney is. Since that day, Simes and I have been taking Maddie to the beach more and particularly exploring the beautiful Northern Beaches. As they say, it really is God's Country!

Mads is becoming more and more of a little lady every day. In many ways our little baby has gone and she has been replaced by a sophisticated little 2 year old minx. We have the most wonderful conversations with her now and on some occasions we can even reason with her! She likes to take on the role of mother and often asks Simes and I 'are you ok?' or 'is everything all right?'. She doesn't miss a trick and remembers the name of everyone she meets. If she ever does get stuck, she just refers to people as 'that little girl' or 'that little boy' (regardless of their age!). She literally radiates joy and I can't get enough of her. Being around her just makes me happy. I love waking up in the morning and seeing her little face either sleeping in like a uni student, or standing right by our bed asking for 'a quick little morning cuddle'. The thing I am most excited about is the fact that she has great comic timing. Life seems to be a little easier when you have a sense of humour and our Mads certainly has one of those!

I have started 2009 with a happy heart and great hope for the future. The fact the 44th President of the United States is an African American makes me smile from ear to ear. Bloody fantastic! I am thrilled that Maddie and her generation will grow up thinking that there is nothing unusual about that. Just as it should be.

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." Barack Obama

Jingle Bells...

How can it be that Christmas is almost here? December completely snuck up on me! This time last year we were braving the winter months in London with our dear friends Simon, Nattie, Howie, Barney, Pam and Mike. Every year that we were in London Pam and Mike (Nattie's mum and dad) would open their amazing house in Stanmore (one of the oldest houses in the area... it has a bell tower and everything... bloody gorgeous) and we would celebrate 'Christmukka' which was our combo version of Christmas and Hanukkah (Nattie's family are Jewish). The generosity and kindness that Pam and Mike showed us when we were in London was unbelievable. They really did treat us like we were part of their family and when Maddie came along, you would have thought that she was their granddaughter! They showered her with gifts, but more importantly they showered her with love and Pam used to come and visit me in Maida Vale and give me the most amazing advice. The best thing was, she never made me feel inadequate in any way. She was encouraging, full of praise, not to mention patient and kind. I cant wait for the day that Simon and Nattie decide to have a family. I know that Pam and Mike will be the most amazing grandparents and as for Si and Nattie... well let's just say that if I could come back and do it all again, I would love to have them as my parents. They are ridiculously eccentric, full of laughter and warmth, but most importantly they really know how to live life. There is never a dull moment and they seem to collect friends everywhere they go.

Then there was my UK work family. Ian Morton (my old boss) features as one of the all time funniest men I have ever met. He really is something. He has filled his life with fabulous women who all seem to have huge bosoms and he simply wont tolerate a lady in a comfortable shoe, so they all wear fabulous heels! He really is a magnet for special characters and working with him and his gaggle of gorgeous girls including Chili, Claps, Lazzie and Vic was like being in a pantomime that never stopped. His quick wit could tear a person to pieces within 30 seconds, but the truth is that his that his bark was always worse than his bite and he is one of the most amazingly thoughtful and generous people on the planet. Once he is in your corner, you know you will never be on your own.

It makes me so sad to think that we wont be able to pop in and visit our London family. I doubt very much whether any of them read this blog anymore, but if you do... we miss you, we love you and we are sending you more Christmas cheer than you could poke a stick at!

Now... having made myself feel very sad and miss all our lovely UK friends... I think it is worthwhile pointing a couple of things out...

1. We are home in gorgeous Sydney which means we get to spend time with all the spectacular friends we have made since we moved here when we were 23 (that's 13 years of gathering friends... Jesus we are getting long in the tooth!)

2. Mads has made so many cool little mates over the past 10 months (particularly the love of her life Linus Stafford)

3. In two sleeps we all get on a plane to Adelaide to see our families and celebrate Christmas together for the first time in 5 years (can't bloody wait)

4. I finish work tomorrow and will finally have a break for a couple of weeks (hoo-freakin-ray)

5. We are heading up the coast to celebrate NYE with a bunch of dear friends and their kids

6. Howie and Barney are coming to Sydney for a visit (so I know I am in for a good giggle)

7. For the first time Mads is truly excited about Christmas and can't stop singing Jingle Bells no matter how hard she tries

We had a packed weekend of pre-Christmas celebrations last week. Saturday was lunch at Aunty Kathryn's with my cousins Christopher and Rob, their lovely wives Kylie and Beth and their little girls, Daisy, Charlie, Bella and Ashley. We then had a smashing dinner with Eoghan, Tara, Gaz and Flo and their little boys. Sunday was a beautiful lunch at Meags and Martins house with Stevie, Sam, Cindy, Linus, Edie, Indiana and Olivia.

I also had the chance to catch up with two of my favourite girlfriends Sarah and Gail last week. Every time I see them we guzzle wine, cackle with laughter (both Sarah and Gail's laughs are top notch cackles!) and tell each other our deepest darkest secrets. It is like a therapy session with good food and wine! I always walk away from those girls feeling energised and ready to take on the world. We don't see each other very often, but when we do, I treasure every second.

2008 has been one hell of a year. Watching Mads grow from a baby into a little girl has been so much fun. She has a twinkle in her eye that makes us so happy. She is cheeky and full of life and she is absorbing information like a little sponge. She is a master negotiator and has Simes and I wrapped around her little finger. Just the other night, she was sitting at the dinner table and she looked simes in the eye and said 'you should get me a Freddo Frog after dinner dad... sound like a plan?'. I kid you not... 'sound like a plan?' Too bloody funny!

I wonder what 2009 will bring...? Who knows? Here's what I am wishing for...

1. good health, good luck and happiness for our family and friends

2. hopefully another addition to our little family (I guess we had better get on with it)

3. courage, passion, laughter and kindness... what ever happens

Merry Christmas xxx

From a Butterfly to a Starfish (to a fishwife)!

Beautiful Mads has officially entered the terrible 2's, but guess what? She is far from terrible. She is pure delight. Of course she has her wingy, demanding moments (who the hell doesn't?) and occasionally she makes a visit to the 'naughty corner', but on the whole she is funny, charming, full of life and very reasonable. She seems to have a kindness and an emotional understanding way beyond her years. She is thoughtful and seems to just adore being around people and having a good old fashioned chat.

She had the most amazing second birthday celebration. Her four adoring grandparents flew in from Adelaide to help celebrate this momentous occasion. She had visits from loads of friends, cousins, uncles and aunts. Once again, I almost buggered up her birthday cake, but thankfully my dear friend Martin managed to save the day by hiding the fact that I had burnt it by making some extra icing and covering it with lovely flowers made of smarties.

Her birthday party was the usual chaos of friends and family running around the local park enjoying a Sunday afternoon celebration. As usual, Maddie and her beautiful boyfriend Linus found time to sneak off for a private moment together to blow their party whistles and hang out together. They are SO incredibly sweet with each other. She genuinely cant get enough of him!

I spent most of the afternoon running around like a headless chook, but I did take a moment to stop and look around at one stage and my heart filled with happiness as I watched my amazing, inspiring parents chatting to our friends and doting on their little granddaughter. I watched Simon's mum and dad and his auntie Sue and Uncle Gordon (who have treated Maddie like their own flesh and blood from when she was a tiny baby in London) laughing and carrying on the way only the Nicholls family can!

Watching our parents laughing, chatting and carrying on made me think about how ridiculously lucky we are and what wonderful role models they are to Simes and I. Our parents are quite simply kind, selfless, generous, amazing people. They don't seem to be able to do enough for us. They have always offered us so much support, guidance and unconditional love. Simes and I are both fiercely independent and I think we sometimes forget how incredibly lucky we are to have such amazing families. Our parents are funny and eccentric and whenever they are around we are swept up with their love and fabulous energy. I never feel judged or criticized by them, I just feel loved and supported. I'm sure they have views about how things should be done, but they just let us get on with life and acknowledge that we are doing the best we can. You can't really ask for more than that!

I think Mads is pretty stoked about being 2 and has even started using the 'big girls' toilet, but there is one thing that is causing her a bit of anxiety. It is time for her to move from the butterfly room (1-2 year olds) to the starfish room (2-3 year olds) at nursery. She just isn't digging it at all. Every time I drop her off and try to take her into the starfish room she absolutely loses it. She is happy to migrate across the hallway at some stage during the day, but she insists on starting her day with the butterflies. I can't say I blame her. It always takes me a while to adjust to change. I say let her straddle the rooms for a few weeks. Eventually she will be ready to make the move.

Oh, we did have one minor drama this week. Maddie swore for the first time. It was the dreaded 'F' word. The little fishwife was having her evening bath and she dropped one of her toys, feeling a little frustrated about the whole situation, she looked up at me and said (and I quote) "for fucks sake mummy". I almost passed out. I managed to hold back the laughter and gave her a very stern talking to. I explained that if I heard that word come out of her mouth again, she would be in the naughty corner for quite some time! I then chastised her father and insisted that she must have picked it up from him!

This week marked the end of an incredible work journey for me with the red carpet premiere of Baz Luhrmann's epic 'Australia'. The past 8 months have been the most challenging, exhausting, painful and exhilarating months of my career. Regardless of what the film does at the Box Office, I know I have put my heart and soul into the promotional partnerships and that our team have done the very best we could with the marketing and PR campaign. The premiere was an absolute circus. I have never experienced anything quite like it. Everyone was there... rock stars, actors, sports stars, politicians, you name it! It was an incredible thrill. But even more thrilling is the idea of getting a bit of balance back in my life and working more normal, manageable hours.

Christmas is around the corner and I can't wait to head home and spend some time with our families. I definitely need a breather and I know Maddie will have a ball hanging out with her family and friends.

Big love xxx

Our Little Flower Is Almost 2!

Our beautiful baby girl turns two this Friday! I can't believe it... two! On one hand, I can't believe how quickly the time has gone, and on the other hand I can hardly remember what our lives were like without her.

When the midwife first put Maddie in my arms, I remember feeling completely overwhelmed. Not because I had just been roaming the halls of St Mary's hospital whaling like a wookie for the past 24 hours, but because I suddenly realised that this little person was going to be our responsibility for the rest of my life. Pretty heavy shit! For the first six weeks of her life I obsessed about everything and felt completely and utterly inadequate. Every time I heard her cry, I was beside myself. Everything felt like an incredible effort from breast feeding, to changing nappies, to waking up throughout the night to taking her for a walk to the park! Then suddenly, when she was about 7 weeks old everything changed. All those things that initially felt like a chore, felt wonderful. I could not do enough for this beautiful little soul that had come into our lives. Parenthood was fun and with every month it just seems to get better and better.

I can't pretend for a minute that it has been a bed of roses. The truth is I torture myself constantly because I have to work full time and I don't get to spend anywhere near enough time with Maddie. I am constantly beating myself up and worrying about how my absence will impact on her. But guess what? She is a positively beautiful person. I mean a really fabulous person, a character, a bundle of fun, a sweet soul, an intelligent little girl, and a kind hearted poppet! She has intuition and empathy beyond her years. Her father has done such an amazing job being her primary carer for the past 18 months and she absolutely adores going to nursery and seems to thrive around other kids. The other good thing about our arrangement is that I treasure every single second that I have with her and don't take a moment with her for granted. Every time I look in her eyes and she smiles at me it takes my breath away.

All the grandparents are descending upon us to help celebrate Maddie's birthday next weekend and we are planning a "curryoke" night (curry and karaoke hosted by a tranny) for Simon on Friday night for his birthday and a great big picnic in the park for Maddie on Sunday. I can't wait to get everyone together and celebrate.

It was Martin's birthday last week and the Staffords had a lovely BBQ to celebrate today. Maddie put on her party frock, donned a party hat and gorged herself on chocolate mud cake. She also managed to get a kiss from her favourite boy in the whole world, Linus. Ain't love grand! They both look pretty pleased with themselves post kiss!

I apologise that I have been so rubbish at keeping Maddie's blog up to date. Our camera is on the blink and beautiful photos are always my trigger to update everyone on her news. Luckily Meags and Martin had their camera out to capture the action today.

Huge love and good wishes to everyone xxxx

Best Buds

Maddie 4 Linus 4 ever! She just loves him. It's that simple. The simple things in life are often the best xx