Little People Everywhere...

It seems that the Nicholls family landed in Sydney during the middle of a baby boom! Everyone we know has either had a baby (or several) in the past four years, is preggers or is trying very hard to get preggers. It is amazing for Maddie to be surrounded by so many fabulous little friends.

But I have to say, all these babies and pregnancies have made me think about how much life has changed since we welcomed our little girl into the world. I remember a time when Simes and I could open a bottle of wine, casually cook a meal, listen to our favourite tunes, talk and laugh our way into the early hours of the morning. On the weekends we would cuddle in bed until after 10am and then casually make our way to a cafe where we would flip through our favourite sections of the weekend newspaper, talk about life and drink as many coffees as we fancied. In winter, we used to grab a take away coffee, drive down to the rocks at Clovelly and watch the storms come in over the ocean for hours on end. I used to find time to paint my toenails, go to the hair dresser regularly, head to the cinema, see a live band, wander aimlessly around the shops buying clothes and not feel remotely guilty about the money I was spending. I used to find time to exercise at least 3 times a week. It was as easy as pulling on my trainers and tracky dacks and taking off out the front door. I used to spend hours on the phone catching up with my friends and swapping advice about anything and everything.

As I write this blog update, I am in bed... knackered. Our evening consisted of Simon, Maddie and I attempting to eat dinner as a family around our dining room table. Maddie winged and refused to eat most of her dinner. She then demanded that I read her the Wiggles book and when I explained (calmly) that I would not read her the Wiggles book until we had all finished our dinner, she raised the volume of her winging to a fairly unbearable level. Then came the bath (after I had read her the Wiggles book and several others) which was quite fun apart from the daily battle to brush her teeth. As for bed time... she flatly refused to even attempt to go to sleep unless she was wrapped in my arms. She just kept demanding "cuddles, cuddles, cuddles". In some ways this was absolutely heavenly (and frankly I enjoy the cuddles just as much as she does), but as I sat there cuddling, I started to think very paranoid thoughts like... 'OMG - I shouldn't be working 5 days a week'... 'she has become obsessively clingy because she doesn't have enough time with me'... 'I am a terrible mother'... 'our values are all messed up'... 'I am desperate to spend more time with my little girl'... 'there has to be a better way'... and by the time I eventually got her off to sleep it was 9:45pm and I was feeling in quite a state and the lions share of my adult / evening time with Simes was gone.

So, I have just re-read the last paragraph and realised that Maddie isn't the only one winging tonight! Believe me, I do realise how incredibly lucky I am to have an amazing baby like Maddie and a phenomenally supportive and loving husband like Simes, but sometimes the guilt of working full time and the constant battle to find a balance takes its toll. The truth is that Maddie has enriched our lives in ways we couldn't have imagined. She is the focus of pretty much everything we do. Every time I look at her beautiful little face my heart almost bursts and I can't believe that she is the result of the love that Simes and I have for each other.

OK, life with a little person may not be as relaxed or glamorous as it once was... but we wouldn't have it any other way. There is nothing like waking up in the morning to the sound of Maddie's voice and seeing her lovely little face so full of excitement about the fact that it is a new day. Watching her dance to her favourite music and play with her little mates fills us with happiness. Looking up our street to see her and Simes walking along hand in hand as we stroll to the local cafe with our friends for Saturday morning brunch makes me weak at the knees. Seeing the look on her face when she had her first taste of a chocolate milk shake was quite hysterical. Listening to her opinions as she learns how to express herself is amazing and most of all hearing her say 'I love you' and knowing that she knows exactly what it means... well there just aren't words to describe how that feels.